I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
