Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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