i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
there is glitter all over my balls
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
