Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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