i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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