fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
