Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
