In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
