I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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