It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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