I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Every concussion has its silver lining
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
