so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
