You're my little dorito
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
