I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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