wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
