We're facebook friends in real life
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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