direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
