you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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