So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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