ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
