I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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