Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
