Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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