When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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