what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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