I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
