I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i think im in europe. pls send help
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
