I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You have to summon your inner elephant
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
