I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize