whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize