omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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