Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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