My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize