in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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