Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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