I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
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drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
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Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.