Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”