So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize