Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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