I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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