OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
