Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
