ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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