I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
