I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
