where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
