i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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