Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
