Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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