...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
