If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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