Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
