somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
