He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
