What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
