I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
