Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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