Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
